A Chic Paris Lockdown – Day 19 – Social Generosity
“Socialize in a Relaxed Manner” is title of Day 19 in Fiona Ferris’s book, 30 Chic Days. In this chapter, Fiona discusses how to feel comfortable and comport oneself elegantly in social situations. The key, according to Fiona, is to focus more on others than on ourselves.
Living in Paris and participating in a multi-cultural environment, I find Fiona’s advice to be spot-on. The secrets to moving comfortably through a variety of social situations are:
- “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything.” The advice given by Thumper’s mother in the movie, Bambi, is just as wise today as it was when the movie was made in 1942.
- Practice social generosity – focus on making the person you are talking to feel comfortable by taking a genuine interest in them as person. (Take a look at the book, First Impressions, by Ann Demarais and Valerie White for a fascinating discussion on how to navigate social situations.)
- Patrol boundaries. We don’t have to answer questions we don’t want to or take part in conversations that make us uncomfortable. It is perfectly appropriate to smile slightly and ignore an inappropriate question. We can change the conversation or just say “Excuse me” and slip away. (Fiona gives several useful examples of stock comments that smoothly handle such situations.)
We, as chic social butterflies, know that a positive outlook and the happy knack of finding the good in any situation can help us enjoy almost any social encounter.