A Chic Paris Lockdown – Day 23 – Those “Grey” Days
May 12, 2020
“Know How To Lift Your Mood” is Day 23 in Fiona Ferris’s book, 30 More Chic Days. Fiona discusses how to approach those “grey” times in our lives when we don’t feel dreadful, don’t feel good, just feel sort-of “blah.” We’re not struggling to survive WW2 and we’re not feeling that “singing in the rain” buoyant joyfulness. We’re not battling clinical depression (that’s something much more serious) yet the day seems to be just dreary. Everything seems like a bit too much effort and who really cares, anyway? When our friends ask us where our positive spin on the world has gone, we are more likely to just say, “Meh.”
Fiona describes feeling this same flatness at various times in her life. She’s found that there are several things that she can do to make these “melancholy” times not quite so long-lasting and draining. The most important is to recognize the feeling and name it. Accept that the feeling is there, remind herself that she has felt it in the past and that it doesn’t last forever. She also came up with a list of small things that she could do that would help her cope with the feeling. I found the best item on her list is “first, do no harm” – which means leave the chips on the shelf at the grocery store, turn off the TV and log out of Amazon. (Munching on snack foods that she knows are bad for her, watching the news, and retail therapy are part of her downward spiral during that time.) The next best item is to give herself some gentle, extra self-care: earlier bedtimes, healthy food at mealtimes and doing some of her beloved creative things like journaling and gardening.
We’ve all felt the same “blah” malaise at times. I like Fiona’s common sense approach where we name what we are feeling. That helps us adjust our thinking to it and realize that we do have a few good ideas to help us get through it. Reframing our “grey” days (like the Stoics advise us to do here) can help us dial down any panic – we can tell ourselves (and our loved ones) that we are feeling a bit worn. We can remind ourselves that this is “blah” time is not a crisis and that we will ease back up to our normal positive emotional level in a little while.
A period of “cozy” – think some extra luxurious showers and skin care, soft pajamas and quiet evenings – can be very helpful. Many times when I have felt a period of lowness, it has been related to (or brought on by) some less-than-stellar health choices. We are human beings and our emotional and mental states are inextricably linked to our physical state. Healthy meals and earlier nights are always a good idea. A few low-maintenance “French Friday” ideas (described here) can also help lift our mood. Nothing huge but one or two nice touches can add just a tiny ray of sunshine to the day. I’ve found that a daily (or more) walk outside, regardless of the weather, is another way to slip into a peaceful feeling. I try to change my to-do list around so that I can schedule a nice block of time to reread a beloved book or do a little journaling just for the joy of it. Each activity, by itself, won’t make a huge difference in my mood but each one gives a bit of comfort. All of them applied together over a period of time seem to help me eventually regain my footing.
Exercise is the great mood shifter, of course. A brisk walk, where one is puffing just a little, will help raise the emotional meter a tick or two. Other people might find that they have retreated too far from the world and that scheduling a few more outings with friends can be a good mood lifter. (Maybe a brisk walk (and relaxed conversation) with a good friend can help perk up the day.) This is definitely a case where one size doesn’t fit all. It’s a good idea to have a list of actions (maybe under notes in our smartphones) we each consider “extra self-care” so that we can pull it out and apply when needed. The important thing is to recognize that our “blah” mood won’t disappear with the snap of the fingers (unfortunately) but as we keep doing “extra self-care” things, we will slowly walk our way back to our more usual upbeat selves.
