A Chic Paris Lockdown – Part 2: Day 23 – Serenity & Changing the World

 November 24, 2020

In 30 Chic Days At Home, Day 23 is titled “Create order.” Author Fiona Ferris writes about how she works at keeping her sense of inner peace and tranquility during her typical day at home when her home nation, New Zealand, was in CoVid-19 lockdown in Spring of 2020. For Fiona (and most humans,) a degree of outer order provides a calming support for a sense of inner order and serenity. 

Being at home with everyone in the house definitely creates more disorder as the house is being used more than is customary. Three meals a day and people and pets in all areas of the house all day naturally lead to more “picking up” than is required when adults and/or children spend 7-8 hours per day out of the house. Fiona doesn’t sound like she is going psycho about keeping the space ready for a magazine photoshoot but she does say that she has a few tricks that help keep her space under control. (Note: these tricks work during non-lockdown life, too.) The three things that she does every day that promote her inner tranquility are:

1. Make her bed each morning when she gets up.
2. Tidy the kitchen each day (dirty dishes in dishwasher & stray items returned to their spots.)
3. Tidy the living area & put away clutter each day.

I can’t claim that I tidy the living room each day even though a paper- and clutter-strewn living area causes me low-level stress each time I walk through it. I am, however, a big believer in the “make your bed each and everyday” concept. I used to be very messy and quite unconcerned about the state of my bedroom. An unmade bed and clothes strewn across the floor were normal for me in college and my early 20’s.  But then I got busier at work with early morning meetings where I wasn’t just the invisible horse-holder sitting against the wall. And, of course, I wanted to meet friends and boyfriends after work. And what I thought was a mentally healthy level of “freedom” (not being “neurotically chained” to “mindless” chores,) began to cause me to miss buses and metro trains (often) and to be late to dates – because I couldn’t find any clean clothes or I had a cute outfit on but couldn’t find the belt that went with it and my date had already been waiting 10-15 minutes. Running in late to work was crazy stressful and being late to meet one’s sweetheart was also a pain (no one likes to be around someone who is constantly late and stressed-out. That’s just too much self-inflicted drama for supposedly competent grown-ups.) Thankfully, I finally recognized that I was causing my own stress and problems.

Slowly, I built up some “success” tricks that got me moving through my day with a sense of ease and competence. The two biggest “success” tricks that start my day off with a sense of serenity:

1. Make my bed
2. Lay out my clothes the night before

Let’s be candid. When I say, “make my bed,” I don’t mean something that is worthy of a photograph in Architectural Digest. I have a big fluffy down comforter (so cozy and warm!) AND it easily covers a multitude of top sheet wrinkles underneath it. When I get out of bed in the morning (even with my husband still sleeping on his side), I grab the top corner of my side of the duvet and give it a gentle tug to put it near the top of the mattress. I put my pillow on top of it. That’s it. (My husband has started doing this, too, when he gets up.) The bed is “made” and the room immediately looks tidy.

I’m trying to teach my children to use this trick – their progress is a bit spotty but they are getting there. I like the fact of how “making the bed” is a very concrete analogy for getting your life together. There is a wonderful video titled “How Being in Quarantine Can Change The World” (here) on YouTube – it uses Admiral McRaven’s 2014 UTA commencement address in the background (where he discusses how “make your bed each day” is part of a success strategy for life.) The video shows a young man getting his day, his mental state, and his life together starting with – yep, you got it – making his bed.

The next crucial piece to getting my day started calmly and collectedly is that I have what I am going to wear that day ALREADY set out for me. This includes everything that I plan on wearing – undies, socks, tops, bottoms, shoes, earrings, everything. Searching for a “lost” thing is just too soul-sucking for first thing in the morning. My habit is that as my nightly shower water is warming up, I put out my next day’s outfit on the bathroom ledge. (Since I basically wear the same type of thing every day, it doesn’t take but a minute max.) The nice thing for my mental serenity is that if the sweater that I have chosen has a spot on it or if I am out of socks, I can choose another sweater or run a quick load of “sock” laundry that night. Potential issues can be calmly handled – with NO stress –  the night before.  

I once worked with a beautiful and beautifully dressed woman who was always, ALWAYS gracious and calm and professional no matter what head-spinning drama was going on around her. I asked her what her secret was to keeping such a serene and effective mental space. She said that she had 2 “serenity” tricks:

1.) on Sunday afternoon, she put her whole weeks worth of work clothes (this was back when we all dressed professionally for work) on 5 hangers (one hanger for each day.) Each hanger had everything for that day; undies, hosiery, skirt suit/pants suit/dress/blouse, jewelry and/or scarf and the coordinating pair of shoes was set right beneath the hanger. (I thought that doing the pre-outfit setup for 5 days was a bit extreme but she explained that she had three children living at home and her weekday mornings could get very hectic.) If she could get up before everyone else did and get herself completely ready for the day before the morning rush began, she felt much more serene and able to handle whatever the school send-off time period entailed. (Now that I think about it, her approach is a mental form of the pre-flight emergency instructions to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.)

2.) Her second “serenity” trick was what she called her “mental power lunch.” She would turn her back to her cubicle door and eat a healthy lunch that she had brought from home (did I mention that she was also beautifully slim with glowing skin?). After her quiet lunch, she would meditate for about 10 minutes. She said those quiet moments brought her such a sense of peace and well-being that she felt mentally prepared for whatever the rest of the afternoon might bring.

That one conversation certainly changed my world. First of all, I realized that real live people had actual tricks that enured that they could move through their day feeling calm and confident.  They didn’t spend most of their day feeling rushed and stressed and out of control. It wasn’t that they were some supernatural race of humans that just magically had it all together.  They consciously took control of their actions and put themselves together. (This may be just common sense to most people but it was a revelation to me at the time.) I started small by just getting my next day’s outfit together the night before.  I didn’t actually meditate but I found that when I set aside some formal quiet time (like a quick walk by myself) at lunch each day, I felt much more collected and upbeat for the rest of the day. One step led to another and I began to experience my life in a happier and much more pearceful way.